The Last Blog on the Left: January 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I envision this as a two-part story...

It can really go in whatever chronological order you want. Watch the bottom first if you are a wuss who likes a happy ending. Or go top first if you are a man and you can suffer through the pain of heart-wrenching tragedy and survive.

Just for all clarity, I do support the second man's desire to feel awesome, but, I feel like he broke YouTube rule #1: Watch your own video. If, at any point, it would be fitting, within the video's current theme, for a chimpanzee to swing in and punch your genitals, then don't post the video.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Huh... Rrrriiight

Look guy, I'm no lover of Christianity, but don't drag a religion through the mire of stupid which is your understanding of anatomy.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that 1:43 is where he realizes that fruit is fuckable... if you have enough.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The most offensive thing I've seen since...

...I heard that a movie studio said that they would be willing to make a film of Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys if Gaiman would make the main characters, the sons of Anansi, White (for those not raised on Anasi folk tales, he is an African folk hero/villain/general dickhead/extremely awesome spider-thing). Thank god Gaiman is awesome and said: no, no I don't need to crap on my own story; I already have loads of money (which was actually his response). The developers of Heavy Rain, however, are not quite so awesome based on this Black man in their game:

Now, I'm as realistic as the next guy. Sure, there are Black thugs and hoods out there the same way there are White thugs and hoods. And sure, some of these people may very well be 'roid raging muscle monsters. And, fine, it is easier to tatt up some Black dude and put him in a wife beater to explain that a character is some sort of criminal than it is to actually develop his character. Maybe its a predictable asshole move, but seeing as such people probably exist, its not inherently wrong. I'm not saying that they are racist, it's just that

Oh wait, no. That is exactly what I'm saying. I think that the developers of Heavy Rain are racist. He has a fucking monkey skull.

Okay, so it doesn't fit perfectly, but that damn sure aint the skull of a human. He looks like the heavy from TF2, which is fine and dandy in a cartoon, but in a super realistic game like Heavy Rain, there is something terribly wrong with this. I mean, just compare the Black guy and the White guy.

End point: I don't think this is intentionally malicious but come the fuck on people. Its goddamn 2010 and people have been claiming racism is dead for the past 30 years. Let's at least make some effort to lie to ourselves.