God: Hey Plato. So it's about time for the final judgement of the human race. I pulled a name from a hat at random and, coincidentally it was you. Long story short, it's up to you to justify your species' continued existence. Umm... Let's do this point counter-point style. Go ahead and start whenever you would like.
Plato: *clears his throat* Well, God, to begin, since time before my species gained its memory, humanity has wrought beautiful works of art which not only bring joy but communicate emotions and thoughts on levels beyond what any of us could express by any other means.
G: I heard that there is a whole subculture where people crap in diapers and then just sit there for a while.
P: uhh..
G: Like, they have websites and everything.
P: well..
G: They have forums too. Yeah, they just post about how great it is to poop on themselves.
P: mmm... well, not only can we express the heights of our beautiful and terrible existence through individual artists, but daily, people by the millions fall in and out of love. They experience emotions which drive with such force that they can swell to engulf all of life in light or shroud it in darkness.
G: Did you know, that at least two separate fast food chains created hamburgers where the bread is replaced with fried chicken?
P: Oh... my. Uhhh, yes, but despite our natural propensity to separate ourselves from one another we move dai-
G: You remember beanie babies?
P: ...
G: Those things sold like hotcakes.
P: ...
G: to adults.
P: The innocence of childho-
G: Like, grown men and women. Spending so much money on little bean bag animals... Crazy huh?
P: Ehem. Perhaps-
G: Bratz got pretty big too.
P: Perhaps most astonishing is the fact that mankind has gained the power to split the atom and destroy itself and this world, and yet, we continue to thrive in spite of our own terrible potential.
G: Jenkem.
P: What?
G: You know: jenkem.
P: Whats-
G: Maybe that's unfair since I've mention poop once before, but you guys sure do love your feces.
P: *silently massages his temples*
G: Well, I'm glad that's done. I'll give you a call first thing tomorrow morning. You're going to have plenty of paperwork to do.
