Apparently...

Beans are the most bad ass of all foods. You thought it was meat? Hell no! You thought it was hot peppers? Go fuck yourself! You thought it was energy drinks? You're hardly a human being at all!

Recently, I was researching beans when I discovered the truth about how hardcore-awesome beans really are. You think I'm Joshing you? Then I'm about to drop a hardcore shit on your life. Beans are nothing like you thought they were. Do you have some beans in your house? Do you? Do you have them right now? Well then get the fuck out of your house because those beans are probably about to go on a violent rampage and rape your sock drawer.

Here are some names for beans you thought were just regular-ass when, they are actually hard-ass:

Lima Beans - Madagascar, Prolific, Guffin, & Sugar!
Black Beans - Black Magic, Domino, Valentine, & Nighthawk!
Kidney Beans - Sierra, Maverick, & Othello!

Don't believe me!? Google that shit and then a giant fucking bean will adopt your ass and spank you like a baby!