Fun New Dance Craze or Concussion Inducing Madness?

A little from column A) . . .

I figured Fabe could do with a little semi-adult-related fun since the fiance (pronounced "fee-yontz") is off for her bachelorette party. Not as if we didn't just have a bachelor party last weekend or anything like that.

Despite being on Youtube this isn't even remotely safe for work so I will just put a link instead of embedding.

Surra de Bunda

So you think he's smiling because he is having a great time or because the concussion is setting in and he is losing his sense of reality? Personally I think it is time to report back to our two columns.

p.s. Sure I appreciate a pretty lady with a sense of fashion but that belt aint foolin' nobody.

p.p.s. Can't forget the Wikipedia article explaining it either.

Some hippies and trust-fund kids are about to get raped.

So Valve, you have let those genital-free, champagne tasting fish-boys into our game. That's cool. I have just one message for them:

I'll be looking for assholes with earbuds on. I wonder, what do birkenstocks smell like when they burn?

Oh, and I lied. I have two messages:

There is a whole new meaning to "class warfare."

BTZ

Yeaaaaaaah...

Something Fishy on Failblog

So, as part of my standard procrastination rituals, I popped on to failblog.org for a quick browse. Doing so I came across this story:

It's the standard failblog fare; embarassing but not too surprising. But wait... Something is off about this story. If I didn't know better, I would say that someone involved in this story was lying.

Huh... I just can't put my finger on it. Must be my imagination. Oh well, have a good day gents and hopefully, the next time we talk this paper will be dead.

Does he mean to harm these commoners?

Read.

None of My Video Game Heroes Are This Decked Out :/

Gears of War 3 Armor Analysis

When APB drops, I'll definitely have to add 8-10 more layers of random shit to my character to bring him up to snuff. With his current limited armoring and actual mobility (even in his outfits consisting of multiple layers) he has got to be violating a building code or something.

P.S. if any of your friends seem interested in APB, demoralize them until they buy it and then tell them to hop on between the 26th of June and the 2nd of July. Non-compliance will be punished with a dog being sent to gnaw upon your face. Compliance will be rewarded with a small dog being sent to gnaw upon your face.

P.P.S. Fuck. I'm procrastinating again. Back to work for me.

Ibn Doom and the Edge of Eternity

So APB is getting right up on release (June 29th, for pre-orders June 26th) and the beta NDA has been lessened/dropped. Some unpleasantries have happened, well, just 1: the game will have a $10 per month subscription fee for access to the action district (the social/customization area is free, but you have to play missions to unlock customization content so really just the social district is free). The game is still fun though and the changes they are proposing to the various systems for release sound really good.

I am not excited about going against my previous personal decision not to pay monthly fees, but fine. I guess if I cut out buying the occasional package of junk-food, $10 won't make any real difference to my monthly expenses.

Well anyway, you'll have to forgive my complaining. I actually decided to post in promotion of the game, or more specifically, in promotion of the crazy customization system. As you guys have seen, I have been wildly excited about this game and that led to tons of sketches like this where I was planning out my look:



Now, normally, everyone would see a plan like this and say, "come on Cyrus, that's cool and all, but do you really think that a video game's customization will let you do even 1/10th of that." I probably would have admitted defeat before, but not fucking now:







I have been able to make literally every tattoo I planned to do (I didn't unlock all the symbols so there were some I didn't finish during beta). Customization is utterly ridiculous. I am impressed with what I have been allowed to do, but some of the stuff I have seen is utterly mind blowing. The following designs are all done from scratch:









And howabout a couple familiar faces:







So yeah, this may not be enough to convince those of you with more iron clad bans against monthly subscriptions than I have, but certainly, APB has lived up to its claims about customization. Combat has its holes but its fun and hopefully it is getting better. I feel good about the game and I hope you gents will think about joining Fabe and I in-game.